Attack Choppers: How do I hate batterys? Let me count the ways...

Monday, July 5, 2010

How do I hate batterys? Let me count the ways...

Horrible, spitefull, nasty, evil little bricks.
They aren't evil you say? What else do you know bleeds acid when shot?
That's right... the most evil creature in the universe: The Aliens. Just ask Ripley... she hates batterys too.

We have all been betrayed by them... designed from the factory to fail... (think about it)
I love the Bolts Action blogs pictures and videos... and this one sums it up so nicely... I can hear Tom Rose giggling as I watch this...
http://boltsaction.blogspot.com/2010/06/push-it.html

Bishop Brown from Jeremy Jones on Vimeo.

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My chopper manifesto

I do not accept the assumption that a rigid framed motorcycle cannot go fast, stop quickly, or handle well. I want my choppers to perform above the social accepted performance standard for rigid framed motorcycles; (that is to say: BAD)
These are the standards I have set before myself to achieve with said choppers:

My choppers must be able to Evade, Pursue, and allow me to survive.
My choppers must be light.
My choppers must be skinny and be able to navigate tight traffic with ease.
My choppers must go fast, accelerate hard, stop well, handle good, and do so without fusing my vertabrae.
My choppers must not scrape hard parts when leaning.
My choppers are not bar hoppers.
My choppers are not non-functioning scuplture.
My choppers must function like a real, useable vehicle.
My choppers must be a valid mode of transportation.
My choppers must not be built for other peoples enjoyment or entertainment.
My choppers must be built for me and my preferences and standards alone.
My choppers must not be fragile.
My choppers must be able to hop curbs, hit potholes, skid, wheelie, do burn outs and crash without breaking.
My choppers must be able to be ridden on all sufaces (Pavement, dirt, gravel, snow, sand, mud)